Katherine Fugate is a screenwriter and I stumbled onto her blog because of her past work.
Here’s an excerpt from her posting entitled “Equality”, in which she neatly sums up what I have thought for a long time, just not in so many words.
We do not want “equals” in our life as that suggest sameness. We want mutuality and reciprocation. So, there is no measuring up (that’s for flour and salt). No proving ground (that’s for baseball). No comparisons (bigger, better, more, less).
You are who you are. As such you deserve a full relationship with a person who is whole and perfect as he or she is and that relationship is built on the principles of mutuality and reciprocation.
This allows each person to have different talents and to bring parts to the relationship that are creatively and energetically different. Money is important, real estate is important; but so are understanding, compassion, friendship and support.
You may give more of this or that; and the other person may give more of this or that. But there is no scale, just an innate sense of value for the gifts we all bring to each other.
As we become more sure of our own divinity, we know how to gauge the contributions.